The Half Blood of Oz
by rainingtearsofchocolate
Summary: Percy's college is whisked away in a tornado to a strange land where there are hundreds of Nicos and his friends seem slightly distorted... The Wizard of Oz, but with PJO characters! To be continued after my trilogy ends.
1. The Tornado

**EDIT: Okay, although I like the idea, reading it over, I realized that this was horribly written. So I redid it. Hopefully it'll be a bit better now. xDD**

**TIME WARP ... BSCHOOOOOOOO!**

**FUTURE!**

* * *

**PPOV:**

I could barely breathe.

I was lying on my couch, and I could barely breathe.

Annabeth was on top of me.

I could barely breathe, and I was loving every second of it.

Suddenly, she pulled back. She looked confused. Bewildered, even. Her head tilted, as if she was listening to something.

"What's wrong?" I asked her. Then I heard it too. Soft at first, but it was quickly getting louder. In moments it became a deafening roar.

Annabeth pushed herself off me and leaped off the couch. A part of me wanted her to get back onto me, but I stood as well and followed her to the window. What we saw made my heart go numb for a moment. Annabeth screamed.

This couldn't be happening.

How could this be happening?

* * *

**one hour ago**

Another booming crash of thunder shook the building, and almost immediately a flash lit up the room. The TV program suddenly flickered.

"Hey!" I shouted at the TV. Annabeth laughed beside me.

The war had finally ended, and after a few years of complexity, we were both in college - the _same_ college. It was spring break, Annabeth and I were spending a glorious night together in my dorm ... things were as perfect as could be.

The picture changed to some random infomercial. Words in capital letters began to scroll across the top of the screen: "A TORNADO WARNING HAS BEEN ISSUED FOR THE FOLLOWING COUNTIES ..." When our county went by, my eyebrows raised.

"Uh oh," Annabeth said with a slight laugh, and then, dragging out the last word, added, "we're in _trouble_ ..."

I snickered. "It's probably not going to come here," I told her.

She smiled. "I know. But this storm is nuts. And I think it's getting worse." She glanced over at the window. An outrageous storm was pelting the glass as if trying to break in.

"I think you're right," I told her. "The lightning seems to be getting closer. I guess we're not going to dinner," I added with a laugh.

She nodded. "Yeah ... it's too bad. But you know -"

Suddenly the dorm room was cloaked in darkness; the television became black. "Woah," I muttered. "Oops." We both laughed.

Annabeth got off the couch and turned to look down at me. "Well, the lights are out, we're trapped in the building ..." She strode quickly to the door and made sure it was locked. Then she walked back to the sofa. "You know what we _could_ do?"

She shoved me with both hands on the chest, pushing my head down to the cushion. I grinned and pulled my legs up onto the couch so that I was lying down. I stared up at her expectantly.

About ten minutes later, the lights came back on. We didn't care.

We were completely carefree.

We'd seen the tornado warning, but who'd have thought we'd actually _get_ one?

* * *

For a few moments, the two of us stood at the window, mortified, watching that triangular, gray, swirling, cloudy vortex of death come ever nearer.

When I came to my senses, I tugged on Annabeth's arm, and we ran for the door. I got there first. I unlocked it quickly and threw it aside, and we bolted down the hallway.

There was no way we were using the elevator. That meant we'd have to go from floor eight - the top floor - to the lobby on the staircase. Not wanting to waste any time, I opened the door, grabbed her hand to make sure we stayed together, and we pounded down the steps, Annabeth just two behind me. The thunderous screams of the tornado were only getting louder. I felt fear gripping at my heart.

When we reached ground level, we emerged into total chaos. People were running, screaming, some even crying. There was pushing, shoving, scrambling to reach the door first. Total hysteria. When we burst through the doors, someone ran right into me, and I stumbled and fell, bringing Annabeth down with me. Nobody seemed to notice we were on the floor until they walked right over us, and we were trampled by the frenzied people struggling to escape. At first we tried to stand, but after much pain, we decided to stay down until the huge crowd was gone.

The building had no basement, but there was a storm cellar outside. You could hear in the cries of the students that no one wanted to leave the building, but everyone was speeding toward the cellar anyway.

When most of the people were out the door, Annabeth and I stood. The last few people who had also been waiting for the crowd to pass flew past us and out the door. We were alone.

Annabeth started running at the same moment that I glanced over to the window. I saw the tornado. Close. Too close.

The roar was deafening, and the next thing I knew, I could hear the massive storm tear the building apart. There is nothing more terrifying than the sheer _RIIIIIIIIP_ of drywall and concrete being destroyed.

Annabeth made it to the double doors and ran out, pulling me along by the hand. But the tremendous wind blew the door shut as I was passing through.

SMAACK!

* * *

**APOV:**

Without warning, Percy's hand was ripped from mine. I stumbled forward a few steps, but regained my balance. I whirled around to see Percy through the windows of the door. He was still inside!

He was sprawled out on the floor. A small amount of blood was leaking from his forehead.

I panicked. I ran to the doors and desperately tried to get them open, but the wind was blowing the wrong direction, and I wasn't strong enough to move them. I pounded, I shook, but nothing worked. I was almost being flattened against the door myself. I tried to call to him. He wasn't getting up.

The sound was unbearable. The whole building was shaking like nuts. It was no use. I couldn't save him.

I so desperately wanted to stay, but my instincts took over. Stupid ADHD mind. I turned around and ran wildly toward the shelter.

But then I stopped. I turned. My closest companion on Earth was in there. He was in that building, which was now far too close to a mass of swirling black rock and dust.

My skin felt like it was being compressed. The air pressure was ridiculous. I nearly collapsed on the spot. Vaguely, I heard my name being called from behind me; my peers were probably calling to me in desperation.

That was when the windows shattered.

It was like a bomb went off in the dining room. One by one they ruptured, glass exploding from their frames, shooting forward into the sky, raining down from every floor. I could feel the vibrations in the cold, hard dirt. I was slapped out of my trance. I turned. I ran.

Suddenly I heard what sounded like Mario pulling a plunger off the world's largest Goomba, followed by a tearing sound that ripped though my very core. Spinning around, I saw that the building was gone. Just gone. As I looked up, I saw it, spiraling through the sky.

_What the?_

I could hear my classmates screaming my name. I had to get out of there!

CRAAACK!

I fell to my left, catching a glimpse of the massive chunk of concrete as it flew past me, before my crumpled body hit the soil.

* * *

**PPOV:**

The first thing I noticed was the pain. My head throbbed horribly, and my body felt as it I'd been tossed around like a rag doll. Something told me I'd be dead if not for the curse of Achilles.

I opened my eyes on the floor of the dorm building. I ... wasn't dead. I was alive!

Suddenly, the whole room tilted. At first I thought I was just dizzy, but then I actually slid across the floor toward the wall. My ears popped.

And then the sound registered.

It was unbelievable, the noise. It was like being in the world's fastest wind tunnel. It deafened me, it made me fold up in pain.

Then the past few minutes returned to me. Was I ... _in_ the tornado?

I scrambled to my feet. Looking over at where the window was, I found that the glass was gone. There were a few shards scattered on the floor, but most were missing. I saw the wind go by outside, as well as a single flying cow. I swear I heard it moo before it continued on its twirling path through the storm's ferocious winds. I thought, _What the heck?_

Suddenly, the room became inverted. I screamed as I suddenly fell, and my body slammed against the ceiling. Then I fell and cracked my head on the wall, before being shot toward the other wall and then back to the ceiling. Then the twisting stopped, and I simply dropped to the floor. The pain was unbelievable.

Then the building began to spin like a Crazy Top. I slid all around the floor, back and forth, slamming into wall after wall, desperately trying to grab onto something to stop myself. I was terrified. All sense of direction was gone.

BOOM!

Everything stopped. The wind died instantly during one last sudden inversion, tossing me against the wall, and then back to the floor. Everything was still now. Everything was calm.

I spent a few moments to recollect myself. Then I stood shakily, and waited for my balance to return. When it did, I wandered toward the door.

It was time to find out where I was.

I felt something solid appear in my pocket. Reaching in, I found a ballpoint pen. I pulled off the cap, and the pen shifted, transformed, and mutated into my familiar celestial bronze buddy. I was glad to know I hadn't lost it entirely.

Keeping my sword on guard, I opened the door.

My eyes widened as I saw what laid beyond the dorm.

I slowly stepped into the light. "Riptide ... I have a feeling we're not in college anymore."

* * *

**Heh, heh, I had to include just one old-timey reference before I left off. xDD So review please, and tell me what you think!**

**EDIT: Okay, that's much better. Now it's at least slightly presentable. xDDDD It's funny, how much better I've gotten since last September. 8D I mean, I still don't know if I'd call it "good," but it's loads better than it had been. xDD**


	2. Splenda the Witch

**TA-DA! Bet none of you saw this coming, huh? 8D I am finally updating this! Woohoo! xD New chapter time!**

**Now, to make myself clear, I am not yet taking this story off hiatus. That won't officially come until after my other story ends. But that doesn't mean I won't pop in here another time or two before that happens! :D**

**I don't know why, but I seriously felt like writing this. xDD**

**Oh, and before you read on – I REWROTE THE FIRST CHAPTER ENTIRELY. I about doubled the length. xDD So I suggest going back and reading that again before you read this! :D**

* * *

There were plants. Lots of them. Plants _everywhere_. And they were huge, too, and some were quite tall; they looked like Amazon plants, except they also looked ... fake. Like they were made of plastic. There was a path – it was yellow, and it started right at my doorstep and went off to the right. There was a small creek that wound around the small area; at one point, a bridge stood erected over it. I saw large hills in the distance.

And the color! It was everywhere! I couldn't place it, but something about this place seemed ... brighter. More vibrant. As if someone was editing a black-and-white film, and had suddenly stumbled across the technicolor process. The sky was a bright blue, but it also seemed a bit white, as if there was a misty layer guarding it from the rest of the world.

I blinked.

My first thought was this:

_What the **heck**?_

I slowly lowered my sword. This ... was _not_ what I'd been expecting. At _all_.

Slowly, bewildered by the experience and the bizarreness of it all, I began to follow the yellow path. It shortly led to a place where tiny houses began to appear in the midst of the plants. The path reached the end of the concrete, then circled back around and spiraled into nothing with the red of another path joining it.

I stared. Where in absolute heck did that tornado _take_ me?

I turned to look back at the dorm. It stood oddly, out of place among the tall plants and bright streets. I suddenly felt the strangest sensation of being watched; I whirled around, but no one seemed to be there.

Okay, wherever I was, it was creeping me out.

I walked slightly further down the path, but soon stopped. I glanced at Riptide. "I have absolutely no idea where we are," I muttered to it.

Wait. Was I talking to my _sword_?

Oh, gods.

I blinked. For some reason, I was seeing a small blue sphere hovering before one of the hills. When I stared more carefully, I realized that it was actually there, and growing. Nearing. It was also changing color. Blue, then green, then red, then violet, then yellow, then back to blue.

_Wait ... is that ... a hamster ball?_

It was. Now that it was getting closer, I realized that it was a human-sized hamster ball, filled with colored smoke that changed like a slide-show rainbow, floating down from the sky to where I was standing.

I stepped back in astonishment.

This place was nuts. Seriously nuts.

I tightened my grip on Riptide. I didn't know what would be in there, if anything, but something told me it would have the craziness to match the rest of the place.

The ball was almost right up before me. It floated down to the ground, then stilled. I took one step back.

A small door opened from the inside, and out stepped a woman in a huge, fat, bright pink dress; she wore a crown that looked as if it had come straight from a Burger King party. She didn't look at me, and she immediately turned around and reached back into the ball. She pulled out a smoke machine and then a disco ball, tossing them both into the greenery surrounding us. As they landed, I heard a loud BONK. My eyes narrowed in fear and confusion.

The woman turned again. "Won't need those anymore, huh?" She laughed an airy chuckle. "I like working on my presentation."

But I wasn't listening to her words. I was staring at her face. My eyes widened as I began to recognize the voice I had heard.

"..._Rachel?_"

The woman laughed again. She turned and grabbed something else from the ball; I noticed it was a long, sparkly stick with a star at the top – like a gigantic version of an eight-year-old girl's princess wand. Once she had retrieved her tool, she closed the circular door of the sphere and then sharply kicked it as if it was a soccer ball. It flew forward, gaining slight altitude, before landing in the shrubbery. I heard another bonk, followed by an outcry of surprise and pain.

My eyes widened, and I wielded my sword protectively. Who was that? Were there people in the plants?

And what in the world was Rachel _doing_?

When Rachel turned back to me, she had a warm smile on her face, as if she hadn't just kicked some mysterious creature in the face with a giant hamster ball. "My name is not Rachel," she told me. "I am Splenda."

I blinked. "But ... you're Rachel."

She giggled again. "No, I'm not."

"...But ... you look and sound like Rachel."

Suddenly, her face turned dark and scorn. She screamed, "SHUT UP! You're not supposed to figure that out until the end!"

Surprised and scared by her sudden outburst, I took another step back.

And then the smile was there, as if it had never left and nothing had happened. She took an inquisitive step toward me; I, in turn, stepped back. She laughed again. "Don't worry," she told me; "I won't bite you."

I hadn't exactly been expecting the strange Splenda-Rachel lady to bite me, but okay.

She re-attempted her approach, and this time, although I prepared myself to flee, I did not yet back away. She smiled more widely.

She cocked her head curiously. "Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?"

I blinked. _Uh ... what?_

"Uh. I'm ... not a witch. Do I _look_ like a witch?"

She looked me over, then frowned. "Hmm ... no, you do not. But then who is the witch?" She shot a confused glance at Riptide. "_That_ can't be the witch."

Was this lady insane? I shook my head in agreement.

She returned her gaze to me. "Perhaps you are a warlock? A brother of a witch, maybe?"

"I don't even have a sister," I said slowly. "And I came here alone."

It was her turn to be surprised. She looked bewildered. "Well, I'm confused ... my Midgets called to tell me –"

"Woah, woah." I stared at her. "...Midgets?"

She blinked. "Why, yes, of course."

I paused. "You ... have midgets?"

What kind of freak _was_ this lady?

Apparently, she either had no idea what I was asking or thought I was a complete idiot, because Splenda decided to ignore my question and continue her story. "My Midgets called to tell me that a witch had come and dropped a building on the Wicked Witch of the East. And here you are –" At this point, she turned to face the dorm room. "–and there's the building, and there are the remains of the Wicked Witch."

_Wait, what?_ For the first time, I focused on the ground by the building. A pair of legs striped like zebras stuck out from beneath the building, capped by two sparking red high heels.

My eyes widened, and my mouth opened. I turned back to Splenda in horror. "Oh, my– I _killed_ someone!"

She chuckled softly. "Oh, just ignore that little detail. So w–"

"Wait," I interrupted. "You want me to ignore the fact that I just _landed my college dorm room_ _on some witch_ and _**murdered**_ her?"

She laughed a bit harder. "That's just how it goes, sweetie. So–" I reared back slightly in fear and disgust. "–what the Midgets wanted to know is – are you a good witch, or a bad witch?"

I stared at Splenda-Rachel. "You're awfully slow," I commented. She looked surprised, but I cut off whatever words she may have been about to say. "Look, can you tell me what the Hades is going on? I just got lifted up in a tornado and dropped in this place, and now you're telling me about witches and Midgets and floating hamster wheels? _What the heck, lady?_"

She surveyed my appearance and attitude. "Maybe you aren't a witch after all," she muttered.

"_Thank_ you," I said. "And besides, aren't witches green-skinned ugly lades that ride broomsticks past the moon on Halloween?"

She cocked her head again. "Halloween? What is that? And who cares about the moon?"

"Oh, I don't know," I dismissed. "But wouldn't I still be green-skinned and ugly?"

Suddenly, what sounded like chipmunks giggling sounded from the plants around me. I looked around in surprise. "What's that?"

Splenda shot a dirty glare at one of the plants. All giggling immediately ceased.

She turned back to me, but her smile was weaker; irritation at my apparent stupidity was beginning to shine through. "Well, not necessarily. _I_ am a witch. The Good Witch of the North. Only bad witches are ugly."

I blinked. "That was a rather rude thing to say. And ... Rachel, you're not a witch."

Her face suddenly snapped into one of pure hatred. "**SPLENDA!**"

My eyes widened, and in surrender, I held my hands up in front of me. "Sorry, sorry, Splenda. But ... you're a witch, and that hamster wheel is the best you could do? And what's with that wand? I swear I've seen a smaller version in Toys 'Я' Us tons of times before."

Splendachel began to twitch in fury. Suddenly she whacked me in the face with her wand. "SHUT UP!"

I covered my head with my arms defensively and stepped back. "Hey! Watch it, lady! Who's the real wicked witch here?"

She looked like she wanted to hit me again, but then she took a deep breath and seemed to relax a bit. "I'm sorry; you are right. As I had been saying, the Midgets are happy, because you have freed them from the Wicked Witch of the East."

I paused. "So I should be _happy_ I killed this woman?"

"Exactly!" Splenda exclaimed cheerily.

Blink. "Uh. Okay. Where are these Midgets, anyway? And what are they?"

Splenda again giggled. "Midgets are the small people of this land, this Midgetland. And you –"

"Wait. This place is named after them?"

"Yes."

"...Well, that's stupid. What, do you live in Witchland? I've never lived in Humanland or Personland, or even Boyland or Maleland, or Kidland or Childland, or Teenagerland, or gods forbid Adolescentland. What's up with this place, really?"

Splenda sighed, as if it was a great effort to not tear my head off my shoulders. "You are their hero, my boy. _So don't screw it up._" Then she turned to the bushes. "You may all come out now, Midgets! Come thank your hero!"

And then, something unexpected happened – which, at this point, was becoming to be expected.

Nico pushed his head up from behind a bush.

But his face was covered in some kind of make-up. And he had this horrifying green wig, one that could have come right from the dollar bill.

And then another Nico stepped from his hiding place a bit further down. He came out all the way, and I really got a shock.

Nico ... this Nico's head looked like the other one's, but its body ... it was wearing a dress. The most horrifying and ugly dress I had ever seen. It was fat, too.

And he was tiny! Maybe two to three feet tall!

It was a rather scary sight.

And then they started popping up from everywhere! Everywhere! They came from behind trees, in bushes, within other sorts of greenery. They were everywhere!

Tiny Nico after tiny Nico came out of hiding. There were two dozen of them, at least. They began to walk up to me.

And then it got even scarier ... Splenda started to sing, and my eyes grew ever wider.

"_Come out, come out, wherever you are, and meet the –_"

"What are you **_doing_**?" I cried.

She turned to me. "Why, I'm singing, of course!" she exclaimed with a giggle. "The Midgets like it when I do."

...

Oh, dear gods.


End file.
